Self-Destructo Boy
by Katsu
Summary: A little *cough* filk...Oh my, my, this here Japanese guy...


Self-Destructo Boy  
(A filk, sung to the tune of "American Pie" by Don Mclean)  
[This version is a verse longer than the original. Whoops.]  
{By Katsu}  
Wow, these parenthesis things are fun, aren't they?  
  
A long, long time ago  
In 195 AC  
The earth government was smoking crack  
And I thought me and my Gundam  
Could maybe talk Romfeller into  
Giving my home colony some slack  
But their reception didn't thrill me  
From the countless times they tried to kill me  
I had no choice but to fight  
Besides, my side was the right.  
I took my Gundam to the sea  
And I sunk a battleship or three  
Saw a giant robot below me  
That's where I found this boy...  
  
Oh my, my here's this Japanese guy  
Spandex wearing, in it carrying more guns than trashcans have flies  
Heero Yuy, always with his laptop nearby  
Sayin "Now I'll have to see that you die."  
"Now I'll have to see that you die."  
  
Did you know this teenage boy  
Has skin of Gundanium alloy  
He can't be destroyed, they say  
Did you see Relena hit on him  
While he played b-ball by the gym  
Yeah, he's probably gonna cap her ass some day  
At first to keep the girl from harm  
I shot him in the leg and arm  
Then he sunk my Gundam  
And I just wanted to KILL him  
But I saved him from the hospital  
And we jumped through a blown out wall  
Guess who decided to try free fall  
Oh yes, it was that boy  
  
I started singing  
My, my here's this Japanese guy  
Spandex wearing, in it carrying more guns than trashcans have flies  
Heero Yuy, always with his laptop nearby  
Sayin "Now I'll have to see that you die."  
"Now I'll have to see that you die."  
  
He came with me to hide away  
So we could fix our Gundams for another day  
And I saw him set his own leg  
Dear god, that was frigging sick  
Then he disabled my Gundam, that little prick  
Before he left, laughing all the way  
To say the least, I was unimpressed  
I'm as smart as him and better dressed  
I tracked him down no sweat  
It wasn't over yet  
Because we were on the same righteous side  
Together we could fight and hide  
And so began my wild ride  
With Self-Destructo boy...  
  
I was singin'  
My, my here's this Japanese guy  
Spandex wearing, in it carrying more guns than trashcans have flies  
Heero Yuy, always with his laptop nearby  
Sayin "Now I'll have to see that you die."  
"Now I'll have to see that you die."  
  
We went to school and worked some more  
When Oz came knocking at our door  
Heero's got some issues, man  
And then we met up with some friends  
Quatre and Trowa in their Gundams  
And Wufei with his Nataku  
We fought the good fight but in the end  
We had to run to space again  
Then got captured anyway  
It just was not my day  
'Cause I got beaten up on TV  
My Gundam got blown up by "Three"  
Then guess who showed up to kill me  
The Self-Destructo boy...  
  
I was singin'  
My, my here's this Japanese guy  
Spandex wearing, in it carrying more guns than trashcans have flies  
Heero Yuy, always with his laptop nearby  
Sayin "Now I'll have to see that you die."  
"Now I'll have to see that you die."  
  
Heero saved me from that place  
While Quatre was playing "Lost in Space"  
Then Heero got his ass in jail  
He tried to kill our scientists  
And I figured it was for the best  
So I followed to finish up his job  
Oh, and so I got captured again  
'Cause the docs said that they'd fix my friend  
Got tossed in Heero's cell  
Wufei was there as well  
That's when the latest bad news came  
Quatre had built Wing and gone insane  
I knew that Oz was to be blamed  
Then they sent out our boy...  
  
We were singin'  
My, my here's this Japanese guy  
Spandex wearing, in it carrying more guns than trashcans have flies  
Heero Yuy, always with his laptop nearby  
Sayin "Now I'll have to see that you die."  
"Now I'll have to see that you die."  
  
Wufei and I were in a mess  
No air around, lungs in distress  
What a boring way to die  
Then Oz went and changed its mind  
Their attack saved all of our behinds  
And the Gundams flew once again  
The other pilots had survived  
Even though we thought Trowa had died  
Another mess by Heero  
'Cause Oz captured Wing Zero  
We all got guinea pigged again  
On the system that fries a pilot's brain  
And it made Trowa go sane  
Thanks Self-Destructo boy  
  
We were singin'  
My, my here's this Japanese guy  
Spandex wearing, in it carrying more guns than trashcans have flies  
Heero Yuy, always with his laptop nearby  
Sayin "Now I'll have to see that you die."  
"Now I'll have to see that you die."  
  
Then the final battle came  
And guess who saved the day again  
Mr. Hotshot in his Gundam  
We all fought and he got the girl  
Though I don't think that he wanted her  
But hey, that's the price of fame  
Wufei's nemesis, Treize died  
A couple of colonies got fried  
But in the last, I'm still smilin'   
UC had more pilots dyin'  
Our spandex boy, he didn't stay  
I guess Relena scared him away  
But I know I'll find him some day  
My Self-Destructo boy  
  
We were singin'  
My, my here's this Japanese guy  
Spandex wearing, in it carrying more guns than trashcans have flies  
Heero Yuy, always with his laptop nearby  
Sayin "Now I'll have to see that you die."  
"Now I'll have to see that you die."  
  
I was singin'  
My, my here's this Japanese guy  
Spandex wearing, in it carrying more guns than trashcans have flies  
Heero Yuy, always with his laptop nearby  
Sayin "Now I'll have to see that you die." 


End file.
